7 Things I Wish I Knew Before Planning My Wedding

Let me preface this by saying my wedding was hands down, without a doubt, most amazing, BEST. DAY. EVER. We were surrounded by our loved ones and danced all night while eating delicious tacos, it was magical and I wouldn't change a second of it. 

I'm an anxious person by nature, but I refer to it more as a "hummingbird". I hardly ever go to sleep or wake up without a million "to dos" and projects racing through my brain. I'm also very much a creature of habit, and big changes freak me out. So throw a wedding into the mix of all of that and you think you'd have a full blown basket-case by the time the actual event rolled around. Somehow, I managed to remain relatively sane throughout the process (even though I was having nightmares almost on a daily basis, super fun). 

One morning, the week of the wedding, I completely missed exit on the way to work, my head somewhere up in the wedding clouds. I was sure I was going slightly insane. You can call my mother and she will attest to this. The poor woman fielded many a panicked wedding call, mostly about things on the below list. (Sorry, mom. I love you!)

1. Meditation is Your Best Friend

No, really. It changed my life over this past year. Just taking the time to sit, alone and breathe is so absolutely necessary when planning the biggest day of your life. Yoga is helpful too, but meditation is quite literally a life saver. I am a huge fan of the Headspace app for guided and unguided meditation.

2. Someone is Going to Disappoint You

It might be a family member, it might be a close friend, but someone you wouldn't expect is going to fall short. In my experience, it wasn't a lack of relationship or love that caused them to disappoint you, they honestly just didn't understand how important this was. I know, sounds crazy, but not everyone is as obsessed with your wedding day as you are. So when they don't come through, it will feel devastating and personal, but just try to keep in mind that it's not about you, it's their own lack of understanding. 

3. Someone is Going to Surprise You and Kick Ass

For me, this was my friend Rachael. We hadn't seen each other in awhile, but she reached out to me during the planning process, and long story short and lots of glitter later, ended up making basically all of the decor for my bachelorette party AND the wedding. She spent hours of her own free time painstakingly hand-lettering menus and hot gluing photobooth props, all out of the goodness of her heart. Which leads me to my next point...

4. Get a Crafty Friend

I don't care how "Martha Stewart" you think you are, you will need help. Pinterest has destroyed weddings for all future brides by setting ridiculous expectations for these perfect "DIY" weddings that include precious little details across the board. Which is all fine and dandy, until you actually have to execute the craft. Host a craft party, pop the champagne, and gather as many of your girls as possible. 

5. RSVPing is a Lost Art.

Some people are unorganized, some people forget, some people are just rude. You'll come across all kinds of people when trying to collect RSVPs for your guest list. And for the love of god, be prepared for the "Can I bring this girl I met on Tindr last week?" question over, and over again. 

There's something about a wedding that makes people feel they are entitled to a big date night, on your dime. Even if you tell them there are no plus one's, someone is still going to write them in on their RSVPS, or even just show up with them to the wedding. There's nothing quite like scanning a sea of smiling, loving faces as you stand up on the altar and wondering, "who the fuck is that?". 

Just plan on extra mouths to feed and extra seats, because people will bring uninvited plus ones, people who didn't RSVP will just show up, or maybe someone famous will drop in, you never know.

6. Things Change While You Plan

The guest list you constructed 6 months before the wedding might not necessarily be the same by the time it actually rolls around. You may fluctuate on your choice between ranunculus or anemones for the florals. Tastes change, relationships change, the most important thing to remember is that this is YOUR day and it's about what you want. Invite only who you want to invite, eat tacos because they're your favorite food, and don't feel bad about spending the extra $$ because you really wanted the big bouquet. 

7. Build Your Support Team

And lean on them, heavily. For me, this was by far my amazing parents, my sister (and maid of honor), my girl gang, my grandmas, and my aunt and uncle. Everyone has a mixed bag as far as family is concerned, so the situation will be different for everyone. Once you're engaged, these people will be the ones who step up first and offer help, support, and love every step of the way. My family, husband, and girl gang were instrumental in making sure our wedding was the best day ever.

Yes, shit is going to go wrong. Balloons will pop during the ceremony, you'll have at least one person (if you're lucky) who is black out, falling down drunk, and no matter how amazing your Day Of wedding coordinator is, things will not all be in the right place. No one will know if the day isn't perfect except for you. 

In addition to gaining the most handsome husband, I grew closer with my parents, my sister, and built some life-long friendships along the way. Thank you to everyone who shared in our day and our joy! 

It truly was the best day ever!


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